I used to be a realist I swear

You are not standing

On solid ground that you banked on being there haven't you learned anything you never make the deposit before you have the cash to back it up that's the first rule of basic survival.

Surviving on manipulation disguised with clever quips won't hold you over

Surviving on an ego no one wants to fluff anymore won't hold you over 

I only see these things now that I'm standing fifteen feet away at all times

And I am so sorry.
Because this is all only compensation.
For the fate that I banked on
A little too wholeheartedly
One time too many

Another empty reach for a rescue
That I never had a chance of.