Flip The Switch

I can hide behind my books and music and writing and

God-

-knows

-what

-else

I pour myself into when yellow is brown and purple is black.


But suddenly there are no more pages,

and the song ends,

and the ink runs out.

And then I'm right back wearing my red dress and black shoes,

and serenity is closer than I ever imagined it could dwell.

Because you can't run from your own scrutiny

your own arrogance

your own insecurities,

your own imperfections,

When you belong inside your own skin.

Old Habits Die Hard

Petal...

plucker?puller?mutilator?

Cushioned by the stems of those who didn't foot the bill.

I twist slowly,

my fingers anticipating.

Now faster,

the desired is approaching.

But my lack of...

patience?coordination?luck?

seems to overcome

ever

y

time.

That's just my pessimism talking again,

The perfect...

apple?flower?word?

is still intact.

Can we get a repair guy in here? The damn play button is jammed again.

Gold and

Green and

Ice

bring forth thoughts,

still swirling without resolve.

Ten plus

Fourteen divided by

Two months back.

Again

Again

Once more

Again

Repeat

Alright, it's been established!

The point is lucid.

I'm kaput.

Spare Key(s)

Maybe we'll just lock the door

And then throw the key into the abyss of my worst recollections.

Disintegrating, soon unrecognizable and unable to function.

It would be impossible...

And too unbearable...

To save it.

But wool is not easily pulled,

Over your own two eyes...

Unrealistic,

Dis-pic-able,

Or so they say.

Because in my top left drawer...

No, actually the bottom right shelf...

Shamefully, both...

Oh, so predictable.

Yeah, I am talking about you.

No?

But...

You've never listened to my favorite song.

You've never seen me dance in the rain.

You've never known about my dreams.

You've never held my hand.

You've never heard me tell my best joke.

You've never seen me laugh.

You've never seen me cry.

You.have.never.even read.my.poetry.

You don't know a God damn thing about me.

Sorry God, but that was necessary.

Pronouns

Reflections Entry (mostly because if we have to enter a literary contest this year, it might as well involve poetry and none of the other options do. Plus the deadline is tomorrow. Whoops.)

He, she, it, they.

Phrases designed to separate with clear cut labels.

I am a she.

You are a he.

Combined, you and I are they.

But what about we?

Stand side by side,

A freckle here, a shade lighter there.

I see no vast differences between our kind.

It is pointless to ignore the blatant truth in front of us.

Together, we are a united front against whatever is thrown our way.

Together, we can.

Flesh, blood, tears, hope, and fear.

The common ingredients of humanity.

We are linked irrevocably as one.

Common Threads

Dusk settles onto slopes of these hills, into the crevices of my mind.

I

Can't

Flee.

My nightgown is flushed to my body by wind. Cotton is a mockery of protection.

I

Am

Naked.

If only I could obtain normalcy, only an inch to my right.

But

I'm

Wrong.

These broken cobblestones pierce my bare feet.

I

Bleed.

They call it home, I call it...

Stay inside the boundaries

Everything is black

and

white

Safer to ignore that there is not ever nothing,

Then have to swallow the cold, ember stricken flame.

Switch words like a pair of ice skates,

More so because of the ear splitting edges.

Never knew anything different.

Never cared enough to try.

To Overly Toasted- Features Of Topography with this!

The Inhabitants of the Back Burner

It's a breeze today, skip along, stroll on, haha!

The cock

and

the sidewalk

and

the o'clock

brrrrrringg

.

Safety Net(-less)

What's that? Oh, it's the same thing you said yesterday, and the day before that...

More like what hasn't been said.

Riding on flat bicycle tires.

Drinking from an empty can.

Scraping at the bottom of a barrel...

No, scraping at the bottom of my barrel.

Out of air, yet there's no more lung capacity.

Guess time is up isn't it?

The chains are broken, but they have been so all along.

The clouds have cleared, but only for the effect.

It was a worthy effort, which is all that can be asked for in a game without winners.

Now turn the page, close the door, clean the slate,

Look up into the horizon with an expression of discovered knowledge...

The camera fades.

It's only sad because it's over.

"Riding bikes back and forth until sunset, feeling the road underneath my tires as I sailed down the hill, the hill that took guts and encouragement.

Sitting on the front porch steps licking a popsicle. I had cherry red lips and matching colored knees from scraping them up all day.

Swinging on the yellow swings in the backyard, and wondering if I could reach out and touch the sky if I just pumped a teensy bit harder.

Catching frogs and tadpoles in the swamp behind our house, and salamanders at the creek with Daddy.

Swimming for hours with Sissy, pretending to be mermaids living in the depths of the ocean.

Making forts for hours with old limbs and twine, and only coming inside when it got too dark to see anymore.

Tanned skin and naturally highlighted hair from the sun, the beauty of youth.

Sitting underneath my willow tree as the wind pushed my hair away from my face.  Can see it so clearly it hurts... criss cross applesauce with my back to the sun, thinking, pondering, laughing, sobbing.

Nothing to tie us down, no clock to punch, no promises to keep, just innocence in it's purest form."

run of the mill

WoaH!

the Air is hoT!

I can See loTs of biRds.

the grass Is exTremely grEen.

lOts of Nice flowers.

Tons of Happy pEople.

Some of Us get icecReam For a treAt.

i paCkEd a SandwicH tO eat at the park.

it was a yUmmy Lunch.

Dad NOTiced a BEautiful sail bOat on the Vast sEa.

i Really LOve jump rOping on the blacK top.

SummEr is my favorite season and i hope it never enDs.

blueprint

fadedforgottenforsaken.

gone.

ceased.

goodbye.

die.

oh, stop with the cruel humor,you know it's not true!

...but it is, don't be blinded.

an assortment of thoughts...

*humbled by the wind that reminded them they are human bulldoze down the fresh parsley and clip the envelope closed with a ticket stub that held countless memories it's fixed yes i have no more agony from the car that drove by and honked the sound of yelping dogs among the piles of fresh fruit there was a lone shoe who lost it's way in the world when it tried to save a bird look yonder a sail boat floats and rocks with the waves peacful scenes are often dreamt to escape chaos and also calmness boring days are made less so by claping loudly and crossing legs oh why must intertwining herbs be so scarce in this damn world?

connected / -dis

unplugged suddenly, i am isolated.

restless for nothin g much.

talk just to have somethin g to listen to.

walk just to be in motion.

touch just to be stimulated by anything remotely intriguing.

reach out my hand, it is 'nt grasped.

i 'm clinging to air.

drum drum drum

tap tip tap tip

patiently awaiting any glimmer of you in my monotonous day.

only in the early hours i am at peace, when i slip away into a dream.

there, i see you.

the image yields my perfect fantasy, no sensual details, just you.

i wake, and out of euphoria i am torn.

tap tip tap tip

drum drum drum

i wait again, wait until i am re-.

vanilla

fake. your smile. your pinky promises. everything you say. everything that has ever been said. you are the parasite. i am the naive host. how can i live day in and day out knowing that we are a planned scenario . who am i as a person to continue this facade, just fueling your pathetic fire. these are not questions for me, but rather they are statements that are drilled deep into my thoughts and permanently branded onto the pathways of my veins. you

cut

me

open.

i supplied the knife.